Random thoughts

I burned my rice. I look over the darkened pot wit what seems to be only a few eatable rice grains left in it. My kitchen reeks of burned stuff and there’s smoke everywhere. I’m surprised my annoying smoke detector hasn't gone off. But it’s a shitty feeling knowing you’re a grown ass man, have been cooking for yourself for the past decade and still get defeated by something as simple as rice! Whatever, I eat what’s left of it with some fish and ketchup and move on.

It’s Sunday early afternoon, meal prep day. I have a few veggies left in my fridge and some frozen meat I’m dethawing so it wont be an insane grocery shopping haul. Last week I kinda let the meal plan go out the window with some personal projects taking over. It’s fine, matters got settled and now I’m gonna crush this upcoming week.

I am now 2 months away from my first physique show. I feel phenomenal. The food has been so good apart from last week and the training is going good. I finally accepted that I cant hit PRs every week at the gym. It took me 10 years to figure it out. It’s been a relief really, and has helped my training hugely. I even use lighter weights when I can't keep going and the results are fantastic: more muscle soreness and less joint pain. Being a trainer, I’ve always preached safe lifting, but to be completely honest, when I’m in the gym, the athlete and competitive spirit usually took over and I wasn't always practicing what I preached. Sometimes I would put myself out of the gym after a heavy leg day, or keep training shoulders even though I would feel them click in the wrong places. It was hard for me to accept the fact that I wasn't better than I was a week or a month ago.

Signing up for this competition has completely changed the way I measure myself against last week’s me. When it comes to aesthetics, it’s less about how much you lift versus how you actually lift. I now see that this rule also applies to strength training and I finally accepted that for myself (self high five woo!). It’s been 2 weeks since I’ve changed my training technique and I’m glad to say I’ll be keeping this way of training for myself.

On another note, my coach told me I looked “too lean” for this stage of the prep. Are you fucking kidding me coach????? Do you realize how much pizzas and sushi and cream puffs I’ve agonizingly passed on the past 6 weeks????? I am rattled. I could’ve pigged out more. At least this means that I’ll be a lot more nutritiously progressive during my next prep…

Apparently the 2 months out marks the start of “aggressive cutting”. I thought that eating 2 salads a day and only one and half cups of complex carbs counted as aggressive. I feel like I'm in for a rough surprise. We start carb cycling next week, which means I get to eat a ton of carbs (including pizza, sushi and cream puffs) on one day, and then completely cut them out on other days. I really want it to be 1 day carbs and 1 day no carbs but something tell me it won’t be that easy.

Cardio also has to go up. I actually like cardio, when I only have to do it once a month, on a full stomach. My attitude towards it changes radically when I have to do it 3-5 times a week with 2 of these times being on an empty stomach.

I have to work on lats, obliques, abs, upper chest, arms, and calfs. That’s not what my coach told me but rather what I tell myself whenever I see myself in a mirror or on a picture. I always think I’m too small. Everyone else says other wise but when I see my reflection I always think “what the f*ck are they talking about?”. Like the training thing mentioned above, this is slowly getting better, and I don't obsess about how my lower lats look all the time, but rather taking more time to enjoy the whole process and trusting the end results. I also think I’m gonna keep doing these shows so I feel like I have more time to work on these different aspects.

Finally, my ex roommate completely crushed me at mario kart this week. This may seem trivial but it’s almost causing an identity crisis, am I really a Yoshi player or should I move on to another character like Baby Peach or Funky Kong? I pull through but Lubby if you’re reading this know that I haven’t stopped cursing your name since Wednesday, you fiend.

Things coming up this month:

• the aggressive cutting starts

• not sure what trainings gonna look like but reps should be going up and weights down

• more cardio

• Experimenting with new Mario kart characters

**Update: I received my meal plan this morning before posting this…1 carb day for…4 non carb days!!!! Excuuuuuuse me???? I don't knot how that’s gonna play out folks but if I wanna place in the show, there’s no way around it ;) Thinking of the end goal here helps when the process gets hard. Also, I’m going from eating 5 times a day to 7…I’m basically going to be eating all the time. That I have no problem with.


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